no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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