Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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