Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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