I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
