I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
