I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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