That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is Oprah even human
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
