honey bunches of taint.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He better not be in your backpack
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
