yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
my liver is dry heaving
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
