Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
