redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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