Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
