just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
