He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
