All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
