I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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