I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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