So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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