Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
