i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
