In America we eat man semen.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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