I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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