eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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