You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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