just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
