it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She announced her abortion via fbk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
