I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
