i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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