Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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