I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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