hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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