this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
