so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
