Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
