I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize