I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
