Plan B is the new Plan A
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
