if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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