You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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