but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
