i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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