I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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