today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
