i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
