I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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