No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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