Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
