your thong is hanging out like whoa
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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