Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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