i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize