I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
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it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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