Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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