i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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