North Korea, Best Korea!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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