Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
