how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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