You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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