So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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