i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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