Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
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Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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