Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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