did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
