HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
