I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
