seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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