Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
