At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
