Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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