Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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